Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year's Resolution-2009

I know you've all been waiting patiently for this, so here goes:

New Year's Resolutions
I resolve to:

• Work diligently to promote a lasting peace in the Middle East........right!
• Remember to put the cosmetic pillows in their proper position after making the bed
• Continue to criticize Martin O'Malley, Governor of Maryland, at every juncture (that one's easy)
• Remember to put the toilet seat down after use
• Work extremely hard for the next presidential candidate who proposes a FLAT TAX!
• Stop calling my 30 yr old son "Butch"
• Help to restore the Chesapeake Bay by using our MD Dept of the Environment grant for a new septic system
• Change my voicemail message so people don't think I recorded it in a garbage can
• Try to remember what a lousy job this last MD State Legislature did so I know who NOT to vote for next election
• Increase my neighborhood watch so they don't steal anything else from my driveway
• Try to make "nice" with Hilary Clinton as she promotes our foreign policy
• Put a "tail" on Bill Clinton as he tries to promote his own foreign policy while Hilary's out of town
• Wring the neck of the kid (if I catch him) who continues to throw beer cans on my lawn
• Cancel my Verizon contract next December because of their terrible customer service
• Cancel my Heating Oil Company contract in April because they price gouge
• Increase my swimming laps to 1300 yards a workout (if I can find a free lane at the "Y"
• Try to think of any possible way I can get out of helping my younger son paint his new house
• Try to smile more often (my facial muscles are atrophying)!
• Try to figure even more ways to remind myself what a great wife I have (that statement is money in the bank!)
• Try to get more of you to read these blogs!!!!

3 comments:

Jo-Anne said...

Okay so some of those are really easy, and lame.. if we've have no politicians to complain about what boring weeks we will have..
#1 neice j

M.M. McDermott said...

I'm pretty sure we may have to make the Middle East a layaway resolution- a little each year for...um...ever.

The toilet seat is definitely doable. If I can manage, anyone can.

David Ettlin said...

Verizon bad at customer service? I didn't realize it HAD customer service. That's why I switched by phone to Comcast digital voice. Haven't had a buzz on my line since -- and when the phone rings, the number (and often the name of the caller) flash on my (Comcast-digital service) TV. And I can check my voice mail on my computer. And the sign-up deal for all three is very nice -- and maybe when my two-year rate ends, I can point out all the competitive offer and keep the rates low for another long-term sign-up.