Friday, October 24, 2008

We're Buying Organic!

We have a very dedicated environmentalist in our family. She started this way back when she sponsored The Environmental Club at the high school where she worked for many years until retirement. In fact, she was the determining factor in making that school a certified "Green School" honored by the State of Maryland.

So now you see the pressure I'm under to go Organic. I want to speak to the Organic Police some time. How do we know that the farmers who grow organic crops aren't sneaking out in the middle of the night and spraying their crops? How do we know THEY eat organic? They probably go to the closest McDonalds for dinner and laugh all the way to the Dollar Menu!

Anyway, Whole Foods and some of the other Organic Markets are making a fortune. Ever see anything "On Sale" at Whole Foods?... and you never will because price is of no concern to those who shop there as they glide through the isles with their Birkenstock's on. All I know is I'm scared to death to go to Whole Foods. They give you these tiny little carts as you walk through the tiny little spaces. If you ask for regular hamburger meat the butcher gives you a dirty look and replies "Sir, we only sell products from organically fed cattle who are free-ranged and who are lulled to sleep each night with piped-in music from "A Midsummer's Night Dream". I tell him I don't want to date a cow, I just want to eat her for dinner between two hamburger rolls that are not made of unbleached whole grain wheat-flour.

Anyway, if I don't get hit by a garbage truck maybe eating this way will keep me alive a few days longer.

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