When I substitute teach I like to tell the kids in my classes a little story or joke just to break the ice. Most of the kids who see me ask for a new story. So here's one I told yesterday...
A long time ago, when I coached baseball at a local City High School, we were scheduled to play a game at a school in the Western part of Baltimore County which required a good deal of travel time. I got the players out of class early so we would be able to get to the opponent's field early and perhaps take a little batting practice (which I threw since my pitching staff at that time was strike-zone challenged).
We left school in plenty of time to keep to our schedule and I was deeply engrossed in some paperwork while traveling. After a while I looked up and saw that we seemed to be going in an unfamiliar direction based on the way I had traveled to this particular school in prior years. I asked the rather rotund female driver if she knew where she was going and she replied that she knew where the school was located. I asked if her supervisors had given her directions and she replied, "Don't need any, know the way".
When we approached the entrance to the Harbor Tunnel I knew we were in trouble. The driver pulled over to the side of the road and asked me to come up and speak to her. She said, "Did you know we had a toll to pay to go through this tunnel?" I replied, "So what, pay the toll and let's get moving." Her reply, "I ain't got no money to pay no toll!". Perplexed as I was, and figuring that our pre-arranged schedule just went to Hell, I replied, "Didn't your Supervisor give you money to pay the toll?", upon which she stated, "I forgot to ask him about it". So I quizzically inquired as to what she might require of me so we could get moving. She indicated that perhaps she could borrow the money from me. After profuse giggles from the players in the bus we decided to take up a collection from the players and me so we could pay the toll. I didn't have my wallet with me and only a little change in my pocket.
After collecting the needed funds we proceeded forward and I asked her where the phone or communication devise was located on the bus to which she replied..."Broke".
After all this fun we were late, lost the game, and when I called the bus company the next day to inquire about this driver the answer I got was..."She Quit!"...True Story, just one of many in the Naked City.