Friday, October 16, 2009

Teacher Jokes

TEACHER: M aria, go to the map and find North America 
MARIA: Here it is. 
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? 
CLASS: Maria. 
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. 
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
TEACHER: No, that's wrong 
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
(I Love this kid) 
____________________________________________ 0D
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.. 
____________________________ ______ 
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago. 
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? 
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I ' 
MILLIE: I is.. 
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' 
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' 

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted=2 0it. 
  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? 
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his? 
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. 
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when=2
people are no longer interested? 
HAROLD: A teacher 


Monday, October 5, 2009

BAD Experiences at the Super Market

Have you ever had bad experiences at the Super Market? I have.

There are a few near our house that I rotate going to depending on how I feel that day. The one that stands out in the Worst Experiences category is the one that rhymes with "BOPPERS". I went there recently to get some things we needed. They don't accept coupons because they claim their prices are so low you don't need coupons. Well you can't prove that to me from what I've seen. Actually their prices are usually higher than the others I frequent.

Anyway, I loaded my cart up at the local "BOPPERS" Super Market and after being certain I paid way too much for the articles, I started for the check-out line. There was only one woman in the line I picked so I figured I was home-free because I couldn't see anything she had other than a couple of gallons of milk and some bread. She handed the clerk some sort of card that looked like a gift card. The clerk tried the card and it wouldn't register. She tried again and still no luck. The woman claimed that someone else had given her the card to buy the groceries and that she was sure it should work.

During this situation I had placed all my articles on the belt waiting for this lady to complete her transaction.

Now the clerk calls her partner clerk next to her to see if she's doing anything wrong in registering the card. The partner can't get the card to register either. By this time I'm in line with my purchases for about 10 minutes. I look around and there are 2 registers open without customers, but all my stuff is on the belt!

So to get back to the story...the 2 clerks call the manager who brings his assistant with him to try to figure out why this woman's card won't
register. There are now 4 experts trying to log in this card! After another 5 minutes the woman says to the manager, "I guess there wasn't
enough money on the card for these purchases"...and hands the group ANOTHER card to try.

This is where my patience button has been pushed!!! I grab all the stuff from the belt, throw it into my cart and push the cart toward the managers office. As I pass the manager I state," Here's my over-priced stuff, you can put it back if you ever finish with this woman who obviously doesn't have enough money for her purchase!!...and I left.

Do these stores see me coming I wonder?