So my back surgeon wants me to get a Myelogram/CT Scan at a local hospital which shall remain nameless since I have a 5-hour back fusion surgery scheduled there soon. I show up at 8:50 for a 9:00 a.m. appointment. The Doc walks in at 9:00 a.m. and introduces himself. We chat for a while and I tell him I'm into swimming for exercise. He tells me he's planning to build a pool in his backyard so maybe I could give him a few tips. I tell him tip #1 is NOT to build a pool and to go to the "Y" for swimming. I then tell him if he wants to know tip #2 then refer to tip #1.
Anyway, he tells me to wait for the tech who will take me in the back and prep me for the pleasure of his sticking a 4-inch needle filled with dye into my spine so the surgeon will be able to see where my nerves are pinched. I could have pointed to the area but he said that wasn't good enough.
So here I am on a stainless steel table with a comfy mat about 3/4 of an inch thick and he tells me to make myself as comfortable as possible. Didn't Marie Antoinette's executioner tell her the same thing?
I wait in a facedown position for about 15 minutes and the tech comes in again and wants to know if the Doc showed up yet. I say no, but if he wants to cancel that's OK with me. He gets on the phone and pages the Doc, telling him to report to the Myelogram room. 15 minutes later he pages him again. This went on 4 times!!! Now my back is burning from staying in this same position for more than 30 minutes waiting for Dr. Kavorkian to show up. After the final page I tell the tech if he's not here in the next 5 minutes I'm getting off this table and leaving. 2 minutes later he shows. No explanation but a big smile. I figure discretion is the better part of valor (Shakespeare for those of you unaware), so I don't say anything as he picks up his pal... THE NEEDLE. Not too bad after the numbing part.
I leave the room and go for a CT Scan. That was easy and took 15 minutes. The tech tells me to wait in the patient's waiting area and he'll bring the Myelogram/CT Scan results on CDs for my surgeon. He comes out 15 minutes later and tells me "The Myelogram is worthless but the CT Scan was good". Now I'm furious but I didn't want to upset an already upset waiting room so I left.
Today I met with my surgeon and I started out by telling him of my experiences at his favorite hospital. He puts the Myelogram CD into his computer and tells me that there is nothing wrong with the CD!! Go figure. You just don't know whom to believe these days. Since I'll be laid up for 6 weeks, I'll have plenty of time to write more blogs. Aren't you all really happy for that?