A few years back I took a substitute teacher job in a Special Education self-contained class in a local high school. I wasn't sure what to expect so I stayed open-minded until I saw what I was in for. The class was in the (FALS) Functional Academic Learning Support program. These are kids who stay in a self-contained environment for Reading and Math, then go to other subjects as Inclusion students (Phys Ed, Art, Foods) then return after lunch to the FALS classroom for Socialization skills.
I really enjoyed my experience that day. A few days later I was asked if I'd consider a long-term sub position in that class while the teacher was on maternity leave. I thought about it for a while and accepted the job. It was supposed to be for 8 weeks but turned out to be 11. I bonded with those kids and enjoyed every day with them.
Now there's a different teacher in the class, just as committed to these kids as the previous one. He calls me each time he needs a sub and I look forward to being with the kids.They stay in the program, if necessary, until they are 21. Those who can function well enough can move to another level at a local university. They think they are in college but it's actually an extension of the same environment they've been in before.
Ricardo is now 18 years old. He is one of my favorites. I spend a lot of time trying to help him in Reading and Math but his ability and comprehension levels keep him at a rather stationary stage. He can't work much with any Arithmetic beyond single digit numbers. Recently his teacher decided to let him use a calculator some of the time so he's not so frustrated. In Reading, I mostly read to him and he enjoys that. Twice weekly the kids go out to work experiences at local businesses who cooperate with the program. Ricardo was a bagger at a grocery store. He loved it! I remember one day while waiting for him to get back on the bus he came out of the door waving dollar bills in his hand. He was so proud of the fact that people were giving him a tip for helping to bag their groceries. He yelled at me, "Look Coach, they gave me money!"
David is closer to 21 and tried the college experience for a while but could not function in it very well so he's back in the FALS program in high school. He is more functional then most of the kids. He can go home on his own and even takes public transportation to sports events where he meets his father. He remembers everyone's birthday. Whenever I ask him mine he nails it every time. Problem is he needs so much attention that some businesses ask that he not return because he requires so much attention. He asks a question about every 15 seconds.
Bobby will be trying out for the next sequel of "Rainman". I love Bobby. He talks a mile a minute and has a smile on his face 24/7. Some of his functions need constant reminders so I set up a special "Code Red" between him and me to remind him when to visit the rest room. Bobby stays out in the hall and directs traffic during class changes so other students aren't late to their next class. They all "high 5" him as they pass by. While we waited for the bus after his work experience, he and I set up a radio show on the steps of a pet store. His job there was to clean the front of the aquariums. Bobby did the weather and I did the sports. I would introduce him as our on site weatherman and ask him what his prediction would be for the day. He always answered the same way.... "Nice". Bobby and I had lots of fun with that schtick and the other kids with us really enjoyed his "reports". I was always hoping the bus would be late so we could keep doing our radio show.
So this is a small sample of the kids I work with when I sub in this program. To tell you the truth, I'd do it for nothing if the County could no longer pay for subs. I love these kids.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Teacher Jokes
____________________________________
TEACHER: M aria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________ 0D
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O..
____________________________ ______
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_____________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted=2 0it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when=2
0
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
TEACHER: M aria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________ 0D
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O..
____________________________ ______
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_____________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted=2 0it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when=2
0
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________
Monday, October 5, 2009
BAD Experiences at the Super Market
Have you ever had bad experiences at the Super Market? I have.
There are a few near our house that I rotate going to depending on how I feel that day. The one that stands out in the Worst Experiences category is the one that rhymes with "BOPPERS". I went there recently to get some things we needed. They don't accept coupons because they claim their prices are so low you don't need coupons. Well you can't prove that to me from what I've seen. Actually their prices are usually higher than the others I frequent.
Anyway, I loaded my cart up at the local "BOPPERS" Super Market and after being certain I paid way too much for the articles, I started for the check-out line. There was only one woman in the line I picked so I figured I was home-free because I couldn't see anything she had other than a couple of gallons of milk and some bread. She handed the clerk some sort of card that looked like a gift card. The clerk tried the card and it wouldn't register. She tried again and still no luck. The woman claimed that someone else had given her the card to buy the groceries and that she was sure it should work.
During this situation I had placed all my articles on the belt waiting for this lady to complete her transaction.
Now the clerk calls her partner clerk next to her to see if she's doing anything wrong in registering the card. The partner can't get the card to register either. By this time I'm in line with my purchases for about 10 minutes. I look around and there are 2 registers open without customers, but all my stuff is on the belt!
So to get back to the story...the 2 clerks call the manager who brings his assistant with him to try to figure out why this woman's card won't
register. There are now 4 experts trying to log in this card! After another 5 minutes the woman says to the manager, "I guess there wasn't
enough money on the card for these purchases"...and hands the group ANOTHER card to try.
This is where my patience button has been pushed!!! I grab all the stuff from the belt, throw it into my cart and push the cart toward the managers office. As I pass the manager I state," Here's my over-priced stuff, you can put it back if you ever finish with this woman who obviously doesn't have enough money for her purchase!!...and I left.
Do these stores see me coming I wonder?
There are a few near our house that I rotate going to depending on how I feel that day. The one that stands out in the Worst Experiences category is the one that rhymes with "BOPPERS". I went there recently to get some things we needed. They don't accept coupons because they claim their prices are so low you don't need coupons. Well you can't prove that to me from what I've seen. Actually their prices are usually higher than the others I frequent.
Anyway, I loaded my cart up at the local "BOPPERS" Super Market and after being certain I paid way too much for the articles, I started for the check-out line. There was only one woman in the line I picked so I figured I was home-free because I couldn't see anything she had other than a couple of gallons of milk and some bread. She handed the clerk some sort of card that looked like a gift card. The clerk tried the card and it wouldn't register. She tried again and still no luck. The woman claimed that someone else had given her the card to buy the groceries and that she was sure it should work.
During this situation I had placed all my articles on the belt waiting for this lady to complete her transaction.
Now the clerk calls her partner clerk next to her to see if she's doing anything wrong in registering the card. The partner can't get the card to register either. By this time I'm in line with my purchases for about 10 minutes. I look around and there are 2 registers open without customers, but all my stuff is on the belt!
So to get back to the story...the 2 clerks call the manager who brings his assistant with him to try to figure out why this woman's card won't
register. There are now 4 experts trying to log in this card! After another 5 minutes the woman says to the manager, "I guess there wasn't
enough money on the card for these purchases"...and hands the group ANOTHER card to try.
This is where my patience button has been pushed!!! I grab all the stuff from the belt, throw it into my cart and push the cart toward the managers office. As I pass the manager I state," Here's my over-priced stuff, you can put it back if you ever finish with this woman who obviously doesn't have enough money for her purchase!!...and I left.
Do these stores see me coming I wonder?
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Violation! Walking down the left side of the hall!
I substitute occasionally in a local public middle school. Its an eye-opening experience. Those kiddies are sssooo small! If the rules and regulations followed in this middle school were carried along to high school and college we wouldn't have any discipline problems with the 15+ age groups.
First of all the kids line up in the hallways prior to the start of school and wait for the morning bell to ring. They are quiet and reserved and are looking forward to their day of school. When the bell rings (or buzzer to be exact) they walk quietly down the hallways to their lockers to get organized for the day (how can 11 or 12-yr-old kids be organized?).
Then the rules of the school kick in. First they must walk on the Right side of the hall. Believe it or not there is a yellow line (I'm surprised its not RED) down the middle of the hallway and God forbid anyone walk on or over that line. I've heard teachers (ALL of whom are in the hallways supervising) scream at a kid 20 yards away to get on the Right side of the line! Then they line up against the wall next to their classrooms. They must not enter until the teacher gives them permission. After the "go ahead" sign the teacher greets each one before they enter the class with a "Good Morning" or some other innocuous greeting to put them on notice that "Big Brother" is watching them throughout the day.
I've heard several teachers start to count down from "5" so that when they get to "1" there is complete quiet in the room. At lunch the Assistant Principal requires students to be absolutely quiet during lunch dismissal; if they are caught talking they lose the privilege of sitting wherever and with whomever they want at lunch the following week. This is a cruel and unusual punishment!
At the end of the day these youngsters have more energy then the Everready Bunny. I'm barely able to keep my eyes open and they're ready for another 6 class periods.
I was wondering if the staff at the middle schools could follow their students to high school and the high school teachers could slide to elementary school and work their way up again in the rotation. This way all the schools could improve. How come all the "Big Shots" didn't think of this? Might be a paperwork headache for the Personnel Department.
First of all the kids line up in the hallways prior to the start of school and wait for the morning bell to ring. They are quiet and reserved and are looking forward to their day of school. When the bell rings (or buzzer to be exact) they walk quietly down the hallways to their lockers to get organized for the day (how can 11 or 12-yr-old kids be organized?).
Then the rules of the school kick in. First they must walk on the Right side of the hall. Believe it or not there is a yellow line (I'm surprised its not RED) down the middle of the hallway and God forbid anyone walk on or over that line. I've heard teachers (ALL of whom are in the hallways supervising) scream at a kid 20 yards away to get on the Right side of the line! Then they line up against the wall next to their classrooms. They must not enter until the teacher gives them permission. After the "go ahead" sign the teacher greets each one before they enter the class with a "Good Morning" or some other innocuous greeting to put them on notice that "Big Brother" is watching them throughout the day.
I've heard several teachers start to count down from "5" so that when they get to "1" there is complete quiet in the room. At lunch the Assistant Principal requires students to be absolutely quiet during lunch dismissal; if they are caught talking they lose the privilege of sitting wherever and with whomever they want at lunch the following week. This is a cruel and unusual punishment!
At the end of the day these youngsters have more energy then the Everready Bunny. I'm barely able to keep my eyes open and they're ready for another 6 class periods.
I was wondering if the staff at the middle schools could follow their students to high school and the high school teachers could slide to elementary school and work their way up again in the rotation. This way all the schools could improve. How come all the "Big Shots" didn't think of this? Might be a paperwork headache for the Personnel Department.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Caveat Emptor!!!
I really hesitate writing this blog because I treasure my good judgment in most things I get involved with. However in this scenario I was duped and take the blame for my foolishness.
After nurturing my Hyundai XG350 up to 78,000 miles in almost 5 years it was time for a new car. I started looking for a Dodge Caliber since I heard it was a good American car that was comfortable and had good gas mileage. I went to a local dealer who had a "special" price on one of these, several "$K" under the others. I called and was told the reason for the price drop was that there were several "incentives" involved.
So I'm traveling up the road to test drive this baby and arrive at the dealership with the car polished and ready for me to slip into. The Head Salesman makes the following remark just before I turn on the ignition, "The salesperson on the phone told you this car had no A/C didn't she?". After a few well chosen words I left.
Down the highway I go. I pass a Kia Dealership and pull in. I had a friend who had a Kia Sportage and loved it, so I thought I'd check out a used Kia, something I could afford. I hadn't even closed my car door before the hungry salesman came running up to me. I asked about a used Kia Sportage. He said he had none but he could put me in a new one for almost the same money as I was going to spend on the Caliber.
After a test drive he ushered me into the dealership where I saw several other hungry salesmen loitering around. After meeting with his "superior" and being in the place almost 2 hours, they beat me down enough to have me leave a deposit and agree to take a new Kia Sportage 2 days hence. I had signed a few papers (left with no copies) and told them I would pick up the car 2 days later. I was the only one in the dealership at that time and it was almost one hour after they had closed. I was tired, beaten down, and submissive.
The next day another Kia dealer called me. I had gone online to get 3 quotes before I went to the 1st dealer. The 2nd guy said he could beat the price by a bunch. I told him I had signed papers and left a deposit at the 1st dealer. He said, after checking with his sales manager, that I could get out of that deal because I "didn't take delivery of the car". I asked him if he was sure. He checked again and told me he was sure.
Later that day I traveled up the highway to the 2nd dealer and met with the salesman and his boss who confirmed that I could get out of the 1st deal as long as I "didn't take delivery of the car". The 2nd dealer's Business Manager told me the same thing as I handed him the check for the car... which I drove home.
Are you getting the drift of the end of this story? Let's cut to the chase....I now owned TWO Kia Sportages!! The 1st dealer kept calling me to find out when I was picking up my car. I didn't answer his calls. He would not let me out of the contract I signed. I tried to get the 2nd dealer to take back the 2nd car. He offered me $4K under what I paid for it 2 days before.
I contacted a lawyer who thought that the Maryland law for a 3 day "cooling off" period would apply...it DIDN'T! He was wrong, the 2nd dealer was wrong, and I was stuck with two Kia Sportages.
I'll shorten this story...I hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, etc for several days. I wasn't sure what my options were anymore. So up the road I go on a suggestion from a friend to talk to the Head Honcho of ALL the dealerships associated with the 1st Kia Dealer. I offered to make it worth his while to get me out of the 1st contract. He agreed and let me out with a cash settlement.
This was my fault even though the 2nd dealer was really responsible for my troubles. Maryland law regarding recision of a contract only refers to contracts like home improvement, house purchases, etc. How many of you knew it didn't apply to contracts signed for automobiles?
By the way, I love my Kia Sportage even though it cost me "a bit more" than I planned. Do you trust ANY car salespeople???????
After nurturing my Hyundai XG350 up to 78,000 miles in almost 5 years it was time for a new car. I started looking for a Dodge Caliber since I heard it was a good American car that was comfortable and had good gas mileage. I went to a local dealer who had a "special" price on one of these, several "$K" under the others. I called and was told the reason for the price drop was that there were several "incentives" involved.
So I'm traveling up the road to test drive this baby and arrive at the dealership with the car polished and ready for me to slip into. The Head Salesman makes the following remark just before I turn on the ignition, "The salesperson on the phone told you this car had no A/C didn't she?". After a few well chosen words I left.
Down the highway I go. I pass a Kia Dealership and pull in. I had a friend who had a Kia Sportage and loved it, so I thought I'd check out a used Kia, something I could afford. I hadn't even closed my car door before the hungry salesman came running up to me. I asked about a used Kia Sportage. He said he had none but he could put me in a new one for almost the same money as I was going to spend on the Caliber.
After a test drive he ushered me into the dealership where I saw several other hungry salesmen loitering around. After meeting with his "superior" and being in the place almost 2 hours, they beat me down enough to have me leave a deposit and agree to take a new Kia Sportage 2 days hence. I had signed a few papers (left with no copies) and told them I would pick up the car 2 days later. I was the only one in the dealership at that time and it was almost one hour after they had closed. I was tired, beaten down, and submissive.
The next day another Kia dealer called me. I had gone online to get 3 quotes before I went to the 1st dealer. The 2nd guy said he could beat the price by a bunch. I told him I had signed papers and left a deposit at the 1st dealer. He said, after checking with his sales manager, that I could get out of that deal because I "didn't take delivery of the car". I asked him if he was sure. He checked again and told me he was sure.
Later that day I traveled up the highway to the 2nd dealer and met with the salesman and his boss who confirmed that I could get out of the 1st deal as long as I "didn't take delivery of the car". The 2nd dealer's Business Manager told me the same thing as I handed him the check for the car... which I drove home.
Are you getting the drift of the end of this story? Let's cut to the chase....I now owned TWO Kia Sportages!! The 1st dealer kept calling me to find out when I was picking up my car. I didn't answer his calls. He would not let me out of the contract I signed. I tried to get the 2nd dealer to take back the 2nd car. He offered me $4K under what I paid for it 2 days before.
I contacted a lawyer who thought that the Maryland law for a 3 day "cooling off" period would apply...it DIDN'T! He was wrong, the 2nd dealer was wrong, and I was stuck with two Kia Sportages.
I'll shorten this story...I hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, etc for several days. I wasn't sure what my options were anymore. So up the road I go on a suggestion from a friend to talk to the Head Honcho of ALL the dealerships associated with the 1st Kia Dealer. I offered to make it worth his while to get me out of the 1st contract. He agreed and let me out with a cash settlement.
This was my fault even though the 2nd dealer was really responsible for my troubles. Maryland law regarding recision of a contract only refers to contracts like home improvement, house purchases, etc. How many of you knew it didn't apply to contracts signed for automobiles?
By the way, I love my Kia Sportage even though it cost me "a bit more" than I planned. Do you trust ANY car salespeople???????
Sunday, July 19, 2009
A Night Out on the Town With My Best Gal
Our good friend Judy gave Geri and I free tickets to the BSO (Baltimore Symphony Orchestra) concert at Oregon Ridge Park, a converted ski slope in Northern Baltimore County, summer home of the BSO. This is a beautiful bucolic setting amidst lush trees and an immense old-time ski slope where many of us broke our necks as kids.
I was really looking forward to this concert featuring the famous hits of John Williams, composer of such memorable tunes as Star Wars, Superman, Born on the 4th of July, etc. We pulled up into the parking lot and right away figured something was wrong. There were 20 cars parked and the only noticeable clientele were at the swing set enjoying the evening. We looked at our tickets again and realized that even though we like to be early for functions, a week in advance of the concert was a bit excessive.
So now I suggest going to the movies. With us we have bottled water and zucchini bread I made for dessert. So we arrive at the Mall to try to find a place for coffee. Everyone's out on a beautiful humidity-free night. We grab a couple of iced coffees and make our way to the movies where we decide on "The Hangover", one of the 100 choices in this multiplex theatre.
We sit in the lobby with our iced coffee and zucchini bread snacks while others pay $14 for a large popcorn and medium-sized Coke. We were looking mighty guilty, trying to keep things out of sight, when a big-mouth lady hollers over to us, "Hey, where did you get the iced coffee, I want to buy one too". We felt like felons. We were directed by an employee to a sign on the wall that said "Those bringing outside food into this theatre will be punished to the full extent of the law". We looked around for hidden security cameras and prayed they didn't film us finishing our snacks before we went into the show.
The movie was hilarious!
The night was still young after the movie which was preceded by 37 previews of coming attractions both on the Big Screen and the TV Screen, and three separate warnings to turn off our cell phones. So we decided to get a drink at the Bamboo House, a Chinese Restaurant which converts into a geriatric dance floor after dark. I'm not saying the crowd is old but there is a Baltimore County ambulance on call right outside the door... just in case. We are greeted by a guy in a black muscle shirt whose arms are presented so as to flex his biceps for everyone entering to see. He's about 65 with coal black "Just for Men" colored hair. There were others around the bar who were conversing in hushed tones while others were trying to maneuver around for the best hook-ups before returning to the Retirement Community's bus waiting outside. I swear there was a guy who was at least 80 who wore more polyester than I've seen since 1968. His natty white shoes set him apart from everyone.
Anyway, we had a drink and observed a delightful dance crew having a great time. Tommy Vann's Band was playing. Tommy must be about 76 years old by now. I remember him from the 60's. He had a portable microphone with him and in the middle of a song he headed to the bathroom. There were 14 straight cha-cha's played. It was getting a bit boring.
Nothing more to report on the evening. It was an excellent night out with my best gal. I just wonder why the faces change so much from week to week at the Bamboo House. Must be the short life expectancy of 80-year-olds trying to jitterbug!!!
I was really looking forward to this concert featuring the famous hits of John Williams, composer of such memorable tunes as Star Wars, Superman, Born on the 4th of July, etc. We pulled up into the parking lot and right away figured something was wrong. There were 20 cars parked and the only noticeable clientele were at the swing set enjoying the evening. We looked at our tickets again and realized that even though we like to be early for functions, a week in advance of the concert was a bit excessive.
So now I suggest going to the movies. With us we have bottled water and zucchini bread I made for dessert. So we arrive at the Mall to try to find a place for coffee. Everyone's out on a beautiful humidity-free night. We grab a couple of iced coffees and make our way to the movies where we decide on "The Hangover", one of the 100 choices in this multiplex theatre.
We sit in the lobby with our iced coffee and zucchini bread snacks while others pay $14 for a large popcorn and medium-sized Coke. We were looking mighty guilty, trying to keep things out of sight, when a big-mouth lady hollers over to us, "Hey, where did you get the iced coffee, I want to buy one too". We felt like felons. We were directed by an employee to a sign on the wall that said "Those bringing outside food into this theatre will be punished to the full extent of the law". We looked around for hidden security cameras and prayed they didn't film us finishing our snacks before we went into the show.
The movie was hilarious!
The night was still young after the movie which was preceded by 37 previews of coming attractions both on the Big Screen and the TV Screen, and three separate warnings to turn off our cell phones. So we decided to get a drink at the Bamboo House, a Chinese Restaurant which converts into a geriatric dance floor after dark. I'm not saying the crowd is old but there is a Baltimore County ambulance on call right outside the door... just in case. We are greeted by a guy in a black muscle shirt whose arms are presented so as to flex his biceps for everyone entering to see. He's about 65 with coal black "Just for Men" colored hair. There were others around the bar who were conversing in hushed tones while others were trying to maneuver around for the best hook-ups before returning to the Retirement Community's bus waiting outside. I swear there was a guy who was at least 80 who wore more polyester than I've seen since 1968. His natty white shoes set him apart from everyone.
Anyway, we had a drink and observed a delightful dance crew having a great time. Tommy Vann's Band was playing. Tommy must be about 76 years old by now. I remember him from the 60's. He had a portable microphone with him and in the middle of a song he headed to the bathroom. There were 14 straight cha-cha's played. It was getting a bit boring.
Nothing more to report on the evening. It was an excellent night out with my best gal. I just wonder why the faces change so much from week to week at the Bamboo House. Must be the short life expectancy of 80-year-olds trying to jitterbug!!!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Meals on Wings
We are a WILDLIFE HABITAT. You are probably wondering how a home in Towson, just a hop, step, and jump from the Beltway (I-695) could be so designated. Well my wife Geri is an environmentalist and a few years ago she found out how we could become a WILDLIFE HABITAT. You see all you have to do is put up a few bird feeders, have a water source available, and treat the wildlife as if they were family. I tried to convince my wife that our dog Pepper qualified but she wouldn't hear of it, so we joined.
Anyway, here's how you qualify....you send a $50.00 donation to the National Wildlife Federation and voila' you're in like Flynn. They even send you a neat plaque to hang on your fence alerting others (and the wildlife) that you now are one of the official "tree-huggers".
So each week or so I get in the car and go over to Walmart to purchase the Wildlife feed bag. This is a 40 lb bag (at $20 bucks) of wild bird seed for our winged friends that lasts 2 weeks. If you get specialty seeds its even more. We can't ask certain birds to eat just anything you know!! My wife also likes to see the Hummingbirds flit in and out, so once a week she cleans out the Hummingbird feeders and replaces sugar water for the lovely little teeny-weenies. I wish they'd stay around long enough to see what color they are but no such luck. They're in and out like your kids who come to dinner and leave 10 minutes after dessert!
Now on to the bird feeders. We have every imaginable variety of bird you could ask for, and even some you didn't ask for. For instance we now have a flock of Crows who visit frequently. Do you have any idea how ugly, large, and loud they are up close. They're black flying Turkeys! The Maryland Wildlife Bureau says you can't get rid of them until they're ready to leave. So I go outside and blow a whistle loud enough for them to look up for the moment and laugh at me. Problem is, the birds who land on the feeder don't necessarily like all the seeds on the menu, so they dump a lot of them on the ground for the crows, squirrels, and morning doves to eat.
Did I forget to tell you about Bambi and her friends. Would you like a temporary deer hunting license to come over here and "thin" the herd out? What about the "deer resistant" plants we spend so much money on? Don't the deer understand that they aren't supposed to like these plants that sell for $12.95 each??? Don't the deer understand that they're supposed to be afraid of humans and are not welcome up on our back porch to eat potted plants???
Doesn't this sound like fun? Get on your computer and go to NWF.org to join in the frivolity. You too can be a part of nature's best. Be patient because the animals have to live too you know!
Anyway, here's how you qualify....you send a $50.00 donation to the National Wildlife Federation and voila' you're in like Flynn. They even send you a neat plaque to hang on your fence alerting others (and the wildlife) that you now are one of the official "tree-huggers".
So each week or so I get in the car and go over to Walmart to purchase the Wildlife feed bag. This is a 40 lb bag (at $20 bucks) of wild bird seed for our winged friends that lasts 2 weeks. If you get specialty seeds its even more. We can't ask certain birds to eat just anything you know!! My wife also likes to see the Hummingbirds flit in and out, so once a week she cleans out the Hummingbird feeders and replaces sugar water for the lovely little teeny-weenies. I wish they'd stay around long enough to see what color they are but no such luck. They're in and out like your kids who come to dinner and leave 10 minutes after dessert!
Now on to the bird feeders. We have every imaginable variety of bird you could ask for, and even some you didn't ask for. For instance we now have a flock of Crows who visit frequently. Do you have any idea how ugly, large, and loud they are up close. They're black flying Turkeys! The Maryland Wildlife Bureau says you can't get rid of them until they're ready to leave. So I go outside and blow a whistle loud enough for them to look up for the moment and laugh at me. Problem is, the birds who land on the feeder don't necessarily like all the seeds on the menu, so they dump a lot of them on the ground for the crows, squirrels, and morning doves to eat.
Did I forget to tell you about Bambi and her friends. Would you like a temporary deer hunting license to come over here and "thin" the herd out? What about the "deer resistant" plants we spend so much money on? Don't the deer understand that they aren't supposed to like these plants that sell for $12.95 each??? Don't the deer understand that they're supposed to be afraid of humans and are not welcome up on our back porch to eat potted plants???
Doesn't this sound like fun? Get on your computer and go to NWF.org to join in the frivolity. You too can be a part of nature's best. Be patient because the animals have to live too you know!
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