There’s something about the colors of RED and GREEN that can make or break your entire day. Why are we so disposed to changing attitudes when either of these colors show up? For one, RED is not as "feel good" as other colors. Stop Signs are RED. I need to get somewhere fast and that color keeps me from movin' on. Same thing with RED stop lights on the street. Again I’ve got to stop! The RED Light district leads to the downfall of men! Women with RED hair who work in the RED light district can be a double whammy! Fire extinguishers are colored RED. If you have to use one that’s not good. In the RED Badge of Courage, lots of soldiers in the Civil War got killed. Mars is the RED Planet. There’s no air to breathe so that’s not good. Hot Pepper sauce comes in a RED bottle. I broke one of them at home the other day and it spilled all over the kitchen floor. Believe me that wasn’t good.
Now for the color GREEN. GREEN grass makes you feel good…nothing like laying down in the grass under a tree in the Spring on St Patty's Day with a GREEN beer. GREEN is the color of the new attitude with the environment. GREEN plants in the house give you oxygen (unless you forget to water them like I do). GREEN is the color of vegetables that are good for us even though you hated your Mother for shoving them in front of your face.
I could go on and on but I’m starting to sound more and more like Andy Rooney (I’d better check the length of my eyebrows).
I forgot to tell you that the most pleasant GREEN that I have been looking at lately is the color of the numbers on my Stock list. They were all RED under George Bush (didn't I see him with RED eyes during one Press Conference?)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
A Day in Caya Costa
While in Southwest Florida we planned a trip to Caya Costa, a National Park Island about a 30 minute drive from Ft Myers Beach. You have to travel through Sanibel and Captiva to get to a marina where you catch a launch to Caya Costa. The old bridge from Ft Myers to Sanibel was replaced a few years ago. The big money in Sanibel wanted to keep the "riff raff" of Ft Myers from easy access to Sanibel so they instituted a $6.00 toll across the bridge.
Anyway, we arrived at the marina at 8:30 a.m. to catch the launch. We passed the most ostentatious homes imaginable on the way. Two of the homes (one looked like the White House and the other looked like the White House Junior) were being built by the Kohler Family, plumbing Czars.
The crew invited us on the boat and we scrambled for seats for our 9:00 a.m. departure. At 9:00 a.m. the captain indicated that we were going to wait a few minutes for a couple who were on their way. 10 minutes later the young folks showed up to a round of applause. We had a good laugh.
Captain Nemo (I forgot his name) took us into the channel and pointed us toward Caya Costa. Everyone on the boat had a high degree of excitement based on the knowledge that this beach was suppose to be the 3rd best shelling beach in the world!
Just before we arrived the 1st Mate (there was no 2nd or 3rd mate) asked for our attention and used a microphone to make sure we paid attention. He established a time for return. We had to be at the boat at 11:25 a.m. sharp. He asked all of us to synchronize our watches and cell phones to make sure we were on time.
We walked around to the Gulf side of the island and Lo and Behold... I never saw so many sea shells in my life! The landing party was salivating. They sell this stuff for good money in dinky little shell shops (say that three times fast). I was enthralled for about 20 minutes. Then I pulled up my trusty beach chair, my book, and watched the others fight over any shells that looked a little different.
At 11:10 I called my wife Geri and told her we needed to get back to the boat. At 11:25 Captain Courageous (I forgot his name) and his Assistant Captain (the guy was promoted while we were anchored) started counting the people on board. There were supposed to be 29 but they counted twice and only came up with 27. We looked around and guess who was missing ?? You guessed it, Mr. and Ms. Johnnie C. Lately. We voted to leave them but Captain Gulliver told us by law he could not do that . So he left the boat and walked around to the other side of the island. He returned to announce that they were no where to be found. So Captain Jack had this idea to ride around the island and blow his substantially loud horn until we could find them.
About a mile or so up the beach we spotted them. They were casually walking along the beach while several of us (including yours truly) were screaming words of encouragement and offering coded signals with our middle fingers. Captain Video pulled the boat up to the edge of the beach but couldn't get close enough for them to reach the boat ladder without wading in the water. The lady perpetrator yelled to us, "I can't do this because I can't swim!". I yelled back, "You obviously can't tell time either!"
Everyone on the boat was really pissed. They decided not to applaud this time when they entered the boat. No one said anything (except your truly). When Lady Dracula passed by me I looked her in the eye and said "The first time it was funny, the second time it wasn't". She looked away to avoid the expression on my face.
We arrived back 45 minutes late but they didn't charge us for the extra time.
It was a lovely day!!
Anyway, we arrived at the marina at 8:30 a.m. to catch the launch. We passed the most ostentatious homes imaginable on the way. Two of the homes (one looked like the White House and the other looked like the White House Junior) were being built by the Kohler Family, plumbing Czars.
The crew invited us on the boat and we scrambled for seats for our 9:00 a.m. departure. At 9:00 a.m. the captain indicated that we were going to wait a few minutes for a couple who were on their way. 10 minutes later the young folks showed up to a round of applause. We had a good laugh.
Captain Nemo (I forgot his name) took us into the channel and pointed us toward Caya Costa. Everyone on the boat had a high degree of excitement based on the knowledge that this beach was suppose to be the 3rd best shelling beach in the world!
Just before we arrived the 1st Mate (there was no 2nd or 3rd mate) asked for our attention and used a microphone to make sure we paid attention. He established a time for return. We had to be at the boat at 11:25 a.m. sharp. He asked all of us to synchronize our watches and cell phones to make sure we were on time.
We walked around to the Gulf side of the island and Lo and Behold... I never saw so many sea shells in my life! The landing party was salivating. They sell this stuff for good money in dinky little shell shops (say that three times fast). I was enthralled for about 20 minutes. Then I pulled up my trusty beach chair, my book, and watched the others fight over any shells that looked a little different.
At 11:10 I called my wife Geri and told her we needed to get back to the boat. At 11:25 Captain Courageous (I forgot his name) and his Assistant Captain (the guy was promoted while we were anchored) started counting the people on board. There were supposed to be 29 but they counted twice and only came up with 27. We looked around and guess who was missing ?? You guessed it, Mr. and Ms. Johnnie C. Lately. We voted to leave them but Captain Gulliver told us by law he could not do that . So he left the boat and walked around to the other side of the island. He returned to announce that they were no where to be found. So Captain Jack had this idea to ride around the island and blow his substantially loud horn until we could find them.
About a mile or so up the beach we spotted them. They were casually walking along the beach while several of us (including yours truly) were screaming words of encouragement and offering coded signals with our middle fingers. Captain Video pulled the boat up to the edge of the beach but couldn't get close enough for them to reach the boat ladder without wading in the water. The lady perpetrator yelled to us, "I can't do this because I can't swim!". I yelled back, "You obviously can't tell time either!"
Everyone on the boat was really pissed. They decided not to applaud this time when they entered the boat. No one said anything (except your truly). When Lady Dracula passed by me I looked her in the eye and said "The first time it was funny, the second time it wasn't". She looked away to avoid the expression on my face.
We arrived back 45 minutes late but they didn't charge us for the extra time.
It was a lovely day!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Get On the GPS Bandwagon
I'd have to guess that most of us are 10 miles behind the technology Bandwagon, at least I am. I have to hear from just about all of my friends and family, as well as read all the blogs on the Internet before I'm willing to try something new. So Lo and Behold, we wind up with a Garmin Nuvi 200 as a present from my sons for Christmas/Hanukkah (we give them presents for both holidays, they get us presents for one).
It was a cute little thing and I really didn't think we'd get much use out of it. It stayed in the box until we were embarrassed to open it and try it. Funny thing about these hard plastic cases, when you cut them to get them open you always wonder if the store will accept a return when you decide you don't want it. What do you say when they tell you it has to be returned in the original packaging?
Anyway, the directions said to take it out to an area with direct access to the sky so the satellites can activate it. They cautioned not to set it up near trees, so I had to drive it to a local soccer field to get it started. Temperamental little thing isn't it? So I turned it on and it started blinking and making electronic noises. I waited for a while until it finally told me that the satellites had been located. I hoped it wouldn't take that long to get me out of somewhere after taking the wrong turn off the expressway (Bonfire of the Vanities??).
So now our Garmin was activated and I placed it in the glove compartment of my car. There it sat until I remembered two weeks later that it was in there. I ran out to my car after I read somewhere that you shouldn't leave it in an environment below 32 degrees. It had been below 32 degrees for 3 days! I cuddled it, brought it into the house, and covered it with warm towels to bring it back to life. I pressed the "ON" button and Eureka, it started to beep!
So now we're on our way to Florida, snow-birding for the month of February, driving in the car. The lady on the Garmin from the Midwest (I think she was a truck stop waitress or something) gives us turn by turn directions. My wife doesn't believe this thing works and has her trusty maps in her lap following each and every directional instruction given by Maude (I named her in order to keep this personal).
About 100 miles into the trip she got us lost. I quickly changed the voice to a British flight attendant who seemed more knowledgeable. She got us back on track.
After reaching South Carolina we programmed it to take the shortest route. It was supposed to take us 4.5 hours to reach St Augustine and it took us 6 hours. Well I guess with that kind of technology give or take an hour and a half ain't bad.
The only part of this that worried me was when we were in a particular tough part of the course and the British lady said "Satellite signal lost". That scared us a little.
After regaining satellite signal we continued on our journey using the maps in my wife's lap.
Ah what a wonderful thing technology is!!
It was a cute little thing and I really didn't think we'd get much use out of it. It stayed in the box until we were embarrassed to open it and try it. Funny thing about these hard plastic cases, when you cut them to get them open you always wonder if the store will accept a return when you decide you don't want it. What do you say when they tell you it has to be returned in the original packaging?
Anyway, the directions said to take it out to an area with direct access to the sky so the satellites can activate it. They cautioned not to set it up near trees, so I had to drive it to a local soccer field to get it started. Temperamental little thing isn't it? So I turned it on and it started blinking and making electronic noises. I waited for a while until it finally told me that the satellites had been located. I hoped it wouldn't take that long to get me out of somewhere after taking the wrong turn off the expressway (Bonfire of the Vanities??).
So now our Garmin was activated and I placed it in the glove compartment of my car. There it sat until I remembered two weeks later that it was in there. I ran out to my car after I read somewhere that you shouldn't leave it in an environment below 32 degrees. It had been below 32 degrees for 3 days! I cuddled it, brought it into the house, and covered it with warm towels to bring it back to life. I pressed the "ON" button and Eureka, it started to beep!
So now we're on our way to Florida, snow-birding for the month of February, driving in the car. The lady on the Garmin from the Midwest (I think she was a truck stop waitress or something) gives us turn by turn directions. My wife doesn't believe this thing works and has her trusty maps in her lap following each and every directional instruction given by Maude (I named her in order to keep this personal).
About 100 miles into the trip she got us lost. I quickly changed the voice to a British flight attendant who seemed more knowledgeable. She got us back on track.
After reaching South Carolina we programmed it to take the shortest route. It was supposed to take us 4.5 hours to reach St Augustine and it took us 6 hours. Well I guess with that kind of technology give or take an hour and a half ain't bad.
The only part of this that worried me was when we were in a particular tough part of the course and the British lady said "Satellite signal lost". That scared us a little.
After regaining satellite signal we continued on our journey using the maps in my wife's lap.
Ah what a wonderful thing technology is!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Blog #10...The Great Cell-Phone Dilemma
Are any of you out there cell phone fanatics? I have an iPhone and its my one and only "Boy Toy". I'm really lucky because I dropped it in water and I thought it was a goner. But the next day, after I said my prayers, it came back to life. This was monumental because the guys at the iPhone store told me it had NEVER happened before that they knew of.
So now my wife Geri wants to upgrade her phone. She needs one that has numbers you can see because through the years the numbers have gotten smaller and smaller. I'm sure that has nothing to do with her eyesight. But finding a phone that has "senior" dial-faces is really hard. So she tried a Blackberry which had a regular typewriter keyboard. We brought it home and I set it up. I didn't have small enough fingers to press the correct keys so I had to use my fingernail. Can you imagine a phone costing that much and you can't even make it work with anything other than your fingernail??
Well to make a long story short, the doggone phone would not sync correctly with our computer. For those of you electronically challenged that means the data from the phone and the computer will be transferred if everything is working ok. This one wasn't working ok. I guess when you buy something that's marked "Refurbished" you ought to look up what the word means in the dictionary .
After 3 days of calls to Blackberry and the software maker it was finally determined that our "Data was Damaged". So I held up the white flag of surrender and took the little sucker back to the AT&T store today. We're back to square one. The old Motorola is working Ok but the darn thing is PINK and the numbers are PINK, so it makes dialing and texting an Olympic event (and you stilll have to use your fingernails).
I think I'm going to strangle the guy who invented cell phones. It would probably be better to strap our old Verizon landline to our belts and use that... if we could find a long enough cord!!
So now my wife Geri wants to upgrade her phone. She needs one that has numbers you can see because through the years the numbers have gotten smaller and smaller. I'm sure that has nothing to do with her eyesight. But finding a phone that has "senior" dial-faces is really hard. So she tried a Blackberry which had a regular typewriter keyboard. We brought it home and I set it up. I didn't have small enough fingers to press the correct keys so I had to use my fingernail. Can you imagine a phone costing that much and you can't even make it work with anything other than your fingernail??
Well to make a long story short, the doggone phone would not sync correctly with our computer. For those of you electronically challenged that means the data from the phone and the computer will be transferred if everything is working ok. This one wasn't working ok. I guess when you buy something that's marked "Refurbished" you ought to look up what the word means in the dictionary .
After 3 days of calls to Blackberry and the software maker it was finally determined that our "Data was Damaged". So I held up the white flag of surrender and took the little sucker back to the AT&T store today. We're back to square one. The old Motorola is working Ok but the darn thing is PINK and the numbers are PINK, so it makes dialing and texting an Olympic event (and you stilll have to use your fingernails).
I think I'm going to strangle the guy who invented cell phones. It would probably be better to strap our old Verizon landline to our belts and use that... if we could find a long enough cord!!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year's Resolution-2009
I know you've all been waiting patiently for this, so here goes:
New Year's Resolutions
I resolve to:
• Work diligently to promote a lasting peace in the Middle East........right!
• Remember to put the cosmetic pillows in their proper position after making the bed
• Continue to criticize Martin O'Malley, Governor of Maryland, at every juncture (that one's easy)
• Remember to put the toilet seat down after use
• Work extremely hard for the next presidential candidate who proposes a FLAT TAX!
• Stop calling my 30 yr old son "Butch"
• Help to restore the Chesapeake Bay by using our MD Dept of the Environment grant for a new septic system
• Change my voicemail message so people don't think I recorded it in a garbage can
• Try to remember what a lousy job this last MD State Legislature did so I know who NOT to vote for next election
• Increase my neighborhood watch so they don't steal anything else from my driveway
• Try to make "nice" with Hilary Clinton as she promotes our foreign policy
• Put a "tail" on Bill Clinton as he tries to promote his own foreign policy while Hilary's out of town
• Wring the neck of the kid (if I catch him) who continues to throw beer cans on my lawn
• Cancel my Verizon contract next December because of their terrible customer service
• Cancel my Heating Oil Company contract in April because they price gouge
• Increase my swimming laps to 1300 yards a workout (if I can find a free lane at the "Y"
• Try to think of any possible way I can get out of helping my younger son paint his new house
• Try to smile more often (my facial muscles are atrophying)!
• Try to figure even more ways to remind myself what a great wife I have (that statement is money in the bank!)
• Try to get more of you to read these blogs!!!!
New Year's Resolutions
I resolve to:
• Work diligently to promote a lasting peace in the Middle East........right!
• Remember to put the cosmetic pillows in their proper position after making the bed
• Continue to criticize Martin O'Malley, Governor of Maryland, at every juncture (that one's easy)
• Remember to put the toilet seat down after use
• Work extremely hard for the next presidential candidate who proposes a FLAT TAX!
• Stop calling my 30 yr old son "Butch"
• Help to restore the Chesapeake Bay by using our MD Dept of the Environment grant for a new septic system
• Change my voicemail message so people don't think I recorded it in a garbage can
• Try to remember what a lousy job this last MD State Legislature did so I know who NOT to vote for next election
• Increase my neighborhood watch so they don't steal anything else from my driveway
• Try to make "nice" with Hilary Clinton as she promotes our foreign policy
• Put a "tail" on Bill Clinton as he tries to promote his own foreign policy while Hilary's out of town
• Wring the neck of the kid (if I catch him) who continues to throw beer cans on my lawn
• Cancel my Verizon contract next December because of their terrible customer service
• Cancel my Heating Oil Company contract in April because they price gouge
• Increase my swimming laps to 1300 yards a workout (if I can find a free lane at the "Y"
• Try to think of any possible way I can get out of helping my younger son paint his new house
• Try to smile more often (my facial muscles are atrophying)!
• Try to figure even more ways to remind myself what a great wife I have (that statement is money in the bank!)
• Try to get more of you to read these blogs!!!!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Blog #8 Christmas/Hanukkah
Whew! If you think I look tired you should see my wife Geri! Can you imagine having to take care of two major holidays at the same time? That's what happens when a Jew marries a Christian. Nobody wants to get cheated out of anything so we try to accommodate everyone. The ones who make out like thieves are my two sons who get "stuff" and plenty of it for both holidays.
Tonight we're having 11 for Christmas Eve Dinner. Besides cooking all day and doing the final "wrap" on the presents we're trying to remember what we're supposed to do for dinner on Christmas Day ...and then Hanukkah celebration on the 28th with my side of the family!
It's no wonder that the psychiatrists have a field day right after the holidays. Folks are stressed out, disappointed, exhausted, and ready for a long winter's rest.
WAIT!! I forgot to make plans for New Year's Eve. I hope my wife isn't too disappointed but I was thinking of picking up some Shrimp Foo Yong take-out and watching a movie, just prior to falling asleep 10 minutes before the ball drops at Time's Square and watching the re-runs on January 1 during the day.
Well if it sounds like I'm complaining...I'm really not. This holiday season is really more important then those of the past because of what everyone's been through in 2008. Less fortunate then us are suffering. So before I do any more complaining lets just remember that old saying "I complained about not having any new shoes until I met the man with no feet."
Happy Holidays everyone (am I allowed to say that?).
Tonight we're having 11 for Christmas Eve Dinner. Besides cooking all day and doing the final "wrap" on the presents we're trying to remember what we're supposed to do for dinner on Christmas Day ...and then Hanukkah celebration on the 28th with my side of the family!
It's no wonder that the psychiatrists have a field day right after the holidays. Folks are stressed out, disappointed, exhausted, and ready for a long winter's rest.
WAIT!! I forgot to make plans for New Year's Eve. I hope my wife isn't too disappointed but I was thinking of picking up some Shrimp Foo Yong take-out and watching a movie, just prior to falling asleep 10 minutes before the ball drops at Time's Square and watching the re-runs on January 1 during the day.
Well if it sounds like I'm complaining...I'm really not. This holiday season is really more important then those of the past because of what everyone's been through in 2008. Less fortunate then us are suffering. So before I do any more complaining lets just remember that old saying "I complained about not having any new shoes until I met the man with no feet."
Happy Holidays everyone (am I allowed to say that?).
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Mr. Joe, WWII Vet, made it to 90 yrs of age
Joe O'Connor made it to his 90th birthday when his body finally gave out. When asked a few years back what the secret was to his long life he said he had done everything WRONG.....drank too much, ate the wrong food, smoked, and got himself in too many scrapes during his life.
He and Stella were companions for over 50 years. How many of us will be able to match that record? He was sometimes irascible and overbearing, but to Stella he was a friend and companion; they spent many hours at Bingo and the Boatyard where they lounged on his "yacht" that never left the dock in all the years he was "fixing" it.
Joe never let a dollar stay very long in his pocket. His money and he had brief visits...never trusted banks or doctors. "Things" were purchased on a whim and very often those "things" lasted short periods of time until he realized he didn't want or need them (3-wheeled bike, motor scooter, a variety of boats).
Joe's beginnings were in Western Maryland on his grandmother's farm. At an early age (not sure if he was even legal) he joined the Navy. Just about that time World War II was experiencing its major battles. Twice he was blown out of his ship by German sub torpedoes, and twice he survived. He was one of only five shipmates who made it out alive from one of those tragedies. Navy buddies jokingly told Joe he was bad luck and tried to avoid any relationship with him onboard.
For drinking money Joe fought in several prize fights when his Navy ships docked at major ports. Whether he won more than he lost is a big questionmark. Its just like the fisherman whose fish grows in size every time he tells the story. If you believed Joe, he could have qualified for the Olympic Boxing Team, except he didn't have enough money to pay for cab fare to and from the fights.
After serving in the Navy he drove a cab and learned all there was to know about the City of Baltimore. While he did that he also delivered liquor to bars in East Baltimore. He worked at the Inland Steel Plant and retired after many years bending and forming metal products.
Joe's family did not plan on any service for him after his passing on 12/5/08, so this little piece will serve as the only record highlighting parts of his life. There are some plans by his family to throw his ashes in the Chesapeake Bay where he liked to fish.... that would have made him happy. There was an article published recently describing the astonishing death rate of our WWII Vets. Something like 1200 per day are leaving us. So Joe becomes part of that statistic.
So lets thank Joe for his service to America and for being around Stella for so many years, sharing in her good and not so good times. We'll be thinking of you.
You beat the odds again Joe and made it to 90!
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